A few days ago, I was scrolling through my feed when I came across a post discussing a fairly standard industry topic. The original poster had shared an opinion and it was nothing extreme, just a perspective based on their own experience. What caught my attention wasn’t the post itself but the comment section.

Instead of addressing the actual idea, the top comments immediately went after the person who wrote it. Assumptions were made about their character, their competence and their background. Within minutes, a simple difference of opinion had spiraled into a full-blown personal attack.

We see this everywhere now on LinkedIn, X and Instagram. It usually starts with a sharp, defensive comment often packed with unnecessarily harsh language. Before you know it, the actual topic is forgotten and two people are tearing each other down over things that have nothing to do with the original thought.

The real issue is that we have started tightly weaving our identities into our opinions. When an idea we hold is challenged, it feels like we are being attacked. At the same time, social media algorithms thrive on outrage, slowly training us to react with hostility rather than curiosity.

What’s concerning is how this behavior is creeping into our offline lives. I have noticed it happening in office meeting rooms and casual gatherings. A simple workplace debate over a process or strategy can quickly cross the line into personal friction because we have forgotten how to separate a person from their perspective.

Holding a different opinion doesn’t make someone your enemy. You can disagree with an idea completely and still treat the person behind it with respect. A strong counterargument doesn’t need curse words or cheap shots to be effective; in fact, it’s usually much stronger without them.

Social media is quietly shaping how we treat each other. If we want better discussions, both online and at work, we have to start criticizing the thought and not the human behind it.